January 2011
36 posts
“What then kills love? Only this: Neglect. Not to see you when you stand before...”
– Written on the Body, Jeanette Winterson (via knucklecracker)
one day, i will stop stashing away the letters i write for you in my closet and hand them all to you to read
and you will weep, mark my words
you will weep
you never needed me anyway
“I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a...”
– Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters (via silverfoxes)
i’ve never had any problem articulating my feelings into words, the only problem i have is that whenever i open my mouth to speak, i stare at the person in front of me, waiting for me to pour out my sorrows, and i realize how insignificant my problems are and how i shouldn’t be so bothered, or i start to think, “does she really care, or is she just curious?” and then i find...
i can’t sleep at night and i can’t wake up in the morning
“don’t leave me,” you told me once, years ago, back when you needed me as much as i needed you, and you held on to my hands and looked at me with the sweetest sadness in your eyes, “don’t leave me,” you deplored of me, “stay with me,” another plea, a gentle but urgent tug on my hands, “please,” the last word to escape from your lips...
Infatuation
destroyingpoetry:
i want to be infatuated with something
like drugs or like alcohol or like suicide like love like men like
sex or throwing up something to keep this steady thrumming from becoming
a baseline a drumbeat i wonder
if anyone calls me their best friend not just
one of their friends if anyone loves me unconditionally unadulterated if
somebody is infatuated with me because the...
unwritten stories
as rare as i update, it is not that i’ve stopped writing. i still do, every day, endlessly, pouring out my soul and my heart, but i am too scared to share them with anyone nowadays. i don’t know why. i write something, and i stare at “create post” for a few minutes, and click on “cancel” instead.
perhaps it is because i’ve always been criticized. or...
what is it with people and their obsession with love?
frankly speaking, happiness is not only derived from a relationship. what about our family and our friends? what about our dreams and our passions?
why is it that most people are so willing to forsake all of the above just for love?
“… he left soon afterwards, leaving her alone in the dark room, illuminated...”
– truman capote
beforesunrise-sunset:
I shall not get too emotionally attached to anyone or anything this year. It’ll make it easier to leave. The problem with me is I’m either too emotionally attached or too detached.
it has been a long time since i’ve stayed up at night until so late (it is 7 minutes past 3am now), but i need not work later and i have no obligation to sleep, so here i am, about to share my thoughts with you
i’ve always been someone who reads too much into everything, over-analyzing the situation and coming up with a hundred different conclusions, musing over the endless...
i wish i was good enough for you to like me
your approval has been something i’ve been dying for for a very long time
how does it feel to be real?
i cannot remember
i just want a relationship with someone whose feelings are mutual
i am sick of caring for people who do not really care about me at all
you call me weak, but i scoff at you. i might be bruised easily, and i might cry more often than i should, oh, and i am sensitive to other people’s remarks, but they do not make me weak. they do not make me weak. i am strong because i still continue to breathe, even when life suffocates me, its icy cold hands gripping my neck, crushing my heart to smithereens - no, i do not give up, i have...
i am trying my best to be the best person i can be, but it is difficult to be nice sometimes, and often, nearly impossible
is this when we will come to die?
the flame is dying, we are crumbling to ashes
we bounce from periods of blissful happiness to periods of hateful anger and bitter tears
i am just waiting for everything to fall apart again
“i am going to marry you and make you my wife.”
“how sure are you?”
“i’ve never been so sure of anything else.”
“why?”
“because i can’t imagine being with anybody else.”
i like going to bed with you - i’m not talking about sex, i’m talking about lying down next to you, being able to hold you in my arms, resting my head on your chest, your arms cradling my body, feeling your warmth suffusing through my skin, the gentle rhythm of your heart beating, your fingers trailing through my hair, and we would talk, and sometimes you would pause mid-way and kiss...
quite frankly, i am tired of always being bound by chains, of not having the freedom to do whatever i want, of being so limited in my resources, of being so restrained, so confined, so restricted. i hate the boundaries set in stone in front of me, and i wish i could just break through them without worry of any damn consequences. if there is one thing i will never stop praying for, it is freedom,...
where are you now, when i need you most?
i am putting my heart on the line for you, please don’t let me down
“when did you fall in love with me?”
“it was when i brought you to the island south of this country, and we were at the beach since you wanted to pick seashells, ever the obsessed collector, and the sun was setting, and it lit up the back of your hair like a halo, and i was meters away from you, just watching you scamper around like a little kid, looking for seashells, and then...
that was all he ever asked me, “do you love me?” in the break of the morning and the birds start their morning song, when the eggs began to sizzle on the pan, as i untangle the knots in my hair and put on my clothes, when i tap the ashes off my cigarette, while i am at work, when we are having dinner together, as he holds my cold hand in his warm hand, when we are in bed, my head on...
you do not love me, i am merely a habit you are too tired to break
i am only chasing a ghost.
perhaps it is time to stop chasing ghosts.
you’re really my favorite hello and my hardest good-bye. i mean it. every time i see you, i experience this bittersweet feeling. i’m happy that i get to see you, yet sad at the same time knowing the time we have together is slowly ticking away by the seconds.
yesterday night, you asked me to be your girlfriend again. i couldn’t believe it. i was still wind up in this tight, angry ball; i wanted to storm over to wherever you are, slap the senses back into you, grab you tight around the shoulders and yell: “who the fuck do you take me for?”
how do you expect me to believe that you love me, after all you’ve done to me?...
there is a fine line between moving on and letting go
December 2010
66 posts
“i don’t know mate, all i’m sayin’ is you shouldn’t settle for someone who can’t prove their words for you, y’know?”
it’s nearing dawn, i’ve yet to sleep, i can’t sleep, i’m too fucking worried, you’re spending another night with her, not alone yet it still hurts, you’ve been spending so much time with her, you spent christmas with her by catching a movie together, she slept over at your house once, i remember when you told me that a couple of days ago, i got angry that you...
always an option, never a priority
this goes out to all the people
who have their dreams completely torn apart, and yet still keep their faith. who have ever felt like returning to the past, back to their old lovers, in hope that a second try would make everything right, but accept the cold, harsh truth instead. who sporadically miss the past, but focus on the road ahead. who pick up the phone, so tempted to call, or just send a message, but kept their dignity in...
it’s a new year, here’s to new beginnings